Help Me Please

LET’S BEGIN.

First, for anyone who is at their end, right here and right now–I’m talking about suicide–and you’ve tried all the other options and I’m your last hope… please go directly to my page called Beyond The End. Do it now.

For the rest of you, thank you for visiting my website. You’ve typed in ‘help me please’, which means you’ve gone beyond searching for a specific type of help, and your circumstances have overwhelmed you into making a more general plea: you are making YOUR DEEP CALL FOR HELP.

I’m answering. I offer sincere help throughout this site, it’s pure and it’s for free. There is no advice here, nothing to buy, no ads, no exercises or tests to take, no new things for you to ‘believe’ or ‘follow’. You can keep your religious beliefs, or lack thereof, because this is not a religious site, and yet it also includes every person in every religion.

Please read the following short introductions to the three kinds of help I offer here, and then start exploring whichever seems to meet your need at the moment.

***I hope something on my site resonates with you, maybe helps your situation, offers a little peace and some options. Please read ‘The Help Me Book’. There is so much I still need to put on this site and I apologize for so much that is missing, and I’m sorry if your situation falls into those gaps and you aren’t helped. For the time being I’m closing comments, and I’m very sorry for that as well. I wish I could personally hear every one of you. I am taking a lot of time to re-organize this site globally, and adding a lot of pages, to make it easier for you to find the exact help you are looking for. Until then, please read my present site, despite its limitations. I will take this notice down once the site is updated.

Introduction: The HELP ME Book1. The HELP ME Book
There are options you have not thought about. Even the wisest, most intelligent and resourceful mind cannot think of every option. A life-saving option may be right in front of you, even within you, and because you are in such a dire state you’re not able to recognize it clearly.

There are options that can help you cope with, manage, make less painful, or solve (if they can be ‘solved’) your problems. I have heard so many people say, “I’ve tried everything!” and, “Nothing works, no one can help me!” and, “I don’t know what to do!”.

Do you really think you’ve tried ‘everything’? You haven’t come close to trying everything, and I’ll prove it here. Nothing works? Everything works in some way, you just haven’t opened to ‘everything’ in the right way. You don’t know what to do? On a certain level, you know entirely what to do; you just haven’t been able to look past your pain and fear and the noise in your head, and hear yourself.

The HELP ME Book is a shot of adrenaline for you. If you think you’re ‘at the end’, you’ve ‘hit bottom’, you’ve ‘run out of realistic options’, your ‘life is over’… please read my book. It is progressive, linear, blows apart your thought that you’ve tried everything and have reached your limit, and gives you many options you hadn’t thought about. Think of this book as a ‘primer before you reach out for more specific kinds of help’.

Remember: my book, like everything on this site, is free. Nothing to buy, nothing to learn, no exercises, no religiousness, no commercial spirituality. You just read it, and it starts to move something inside you. Note that this book is not simply a few brief website articles; this is a lot of reading, something to immerse yourself in, a big book published in web page form. Let’s begin with the Introduction.

Interview: Separating Parents2. THE INTERVIEWS
The most common thing you hear when you’re in difficulty or in crisis is ‘Talk to someone’. But sometimes you can’t, either because of your own limitations or because there’s simply no one around you feel you can talk to, who would be safe or helpful to talk with. So I’m bringing them to you.

These are interviews I do with people who have been through things. All kinds of people, from all areas, all ages, and all kinds of life happenings. One of the biggest blind spots of anyone who is suffering, is the feeling that you are alone, that no one understands. But if you are having deep troubles, and you read an interview, or a dozen interviews, with people who are going through similar things, you no longer feel so isolated. And you can learn, be helped, by hearing about how others have coped, even survived and thrived, through circumstances similar to what you are going through. They may not be able to listen to you in person, but by the way they share their own words here you’ll know that they would hear you if you were talking to them right now.

To read more about these interviews and how I conduct them, please read ‘The Interviews‘ page. Or you can go directly to any category under ‘THE INTERVIEWS’ heading at right, and select an interview whose title resonates with your own circumstances. Note that no interview is just about one thing; a ‘change of life’ interview might talk about some great or tragic event leading to that change; a ‘sexual abuse’ interview might talk about later problems in life resulting from the abuse. I try to loosely categorize each interview, but each one includes wider events.

I will add to these interviews constantly, so please check in at a later date, if you do not see an interview that helps you at the moment.

Free Your Thinking3. ClearYourMind.com
Usually it is a wide collection of events and decisions that bring you down a road that eventually tightens and bottlenecks into your finally asking ‘help me please’. It is invariably a combination of external happenings, and your reactions and responses to them, that brings you to either success or suffering. This is not a matter of ‘fault’ or blame, of intelligence or strength; the smartest and strongest people can still end up in a place of despair and destitution.

But your mind can evolve into something better; not every difficult circumstance in your life can be thwarted or escaped, however there are mind-tools you can use to better cope with problems, and then to deal with enough parts of a problem so that the whole is reduced in severity and becomes something manageable.

These are a random series of mind tools. Mind tools are just that: thought-tools to help your mind build into a stronger entity. You don’t have to learn any new spiritual words, there are no exercises, you don’t have to learn or remember anything here. Mind tools are simple thoughts that clarify something in your head, help your thought process evolve into something more efficient, healthy, powerful, capable. You just read them, and they start to work.

You can read them at www.ClearYourMind.com. As with this site, there are no ads there, nothing to buy, and all articles and photos are by me. Enjoy.

–   –   –

I hope these pages can help you. Every article on this site is written by myself, every interview is conducted by myself and the final version is approved by the person being interviewed, and the photos are all by me.

I have been in that place, of asking HELP ME PLEASE, many times in the past, for many years, and in situations I did not feel I could survive. So I think I can give you realistic and effective options.

And I hope I do that.

Thank you,
Neil

Neil


415 Comments

  • maria says:

    hi,
    I’m sure you wont be able to do anything about my issues but i just needed someone to listen or something… i just wana talk to someone
    I’m from a small country in Africa where coruption is at its best, i was born in a very poor family who later turned out to have money and power, but that didnt last for long… just a few years ago we started loosing it. no money, no power, nothing…i didnt believe the situation until i fractured my leg, breaking a bone and my dad was unable to pay for the operation. my sister had to pay for it since she was the only one with a stable job which she lost later in the year. this year i thought something was gona get better but nothing, absolutely nothing is working out. Here where i study (in south africa) i need to get a job to get a diploma (is like a practical) the only difference with other universities is that they dont help you get the job, you have to get one for yourself. most companies want someone who exceeds with school marks or someone with the nationality.
    me as a foreigner and a not very intelligent student, I just cant find a place that would let me do my practicals and atleast get a diploma in my career. i’ve been searching and i feel soo hopeless and powerless, i feel soo lost. i found a place to do practicals last year for 6 months but i got fired with the reason of “there is nothing for you to do here”. i couldnt fight it, im just not a fighter, i couldnt even complain; after all the sacrifices i did just so my boss could allow me to finish my practicals there but i ended up being fired (and i wasnt even getting paid)
    i just want to atleast have a diploma but im soo stuck with life and practicals, ive asked my friends for help but nothing, they either tell me they gona help and end up doing nothing, or they try to help but they cant. im stuck with my life and i really really dont know what to do. i havent told anyone how lost i am right now because everyone is stuck with their own battles,ive asked the ones that i could but… ya.
    my family’s financial situation is getting worst and im afraid that by the time we all get poor i wont even have a job to pay for me and my brothers school fees just for being a foreigner.
    in my country is impossible to get a job because they’re all about “who sent you”, power and influence, those kind of things.
    in the country i am developing a career i cant get a job for being a foreignerand not having high marks on my subjects.

    in general i just feel so powerless, i cant move forward .
    I just needed to write/type/say this out loud… dont mind me, this just hurts

  • James says:

    Hi, I have an amazing life on paper. Good job, good car, just bought a house on my own. My girlfriend also has a good life and plenty of money and her own house. There is some struggle between us. I can’t do enough for her. I feel taken for granted. I want her to love me properly. Not in a needy way. My father commited suicide when I was 2 and my older brother has bad learning difficulties. I feel at a lose end some days. I can’t see the point in carrying on. I practice gratitude and the secret. I do not drink alcohol or smoke anymore. I don.t want to upset anybody asking for help as my brother needs it. I really dont think there is help for me. I cant stand the thought of losing my girlfriend. I have many friends and I am hiding in plain sight. I am fine somedays and others I feel its all pointless. Have I inherited some awful mindset from my father? I feel selfish asking for help as I am so much better off than most.

    • Bannen says:

      Hi James, you sound tired. Like your energy and self esteem have been determined all your life by other people needing you or leaving you. I have emailed you.

  • Karen says:

    Im dead inside

  • Martin says:

    Please help me. I have been married for 24 years with 4 fantastic kids. My wife has not worked for the last 17 years and I have no great issue with that even though our youngest is now 13 years old.I have always worked hard and provided a good living with no question of how money is spent. I genuinely have no interest I how money is spent all I want if my wife stays at home is good food for my kids and a clean house. I actually want my wife to spend more on our home than she will spend as she is always looking for the least inexpensive option which kind of annoys me. I have gotten her a cleaner as she says she is too busy to clean as she spends a few hours a day looking after her sick mother. I have also found someone to do the ironing as she says she has no time for that, I work about 60 hours or so a week and on my days off get up to leave the kids to school and make their lunches which she won’t do as she says they need to look after themselves. I actually get that but I find it hard as I want to give them an easier life than I had. I have met a lovely woman (nothing has happened ) but she is making me question my life as she thinks I am being taken for a ride but I haven’t really had a problem with it all but now I am starting to think I am being a bit stupid.I am really loyal to my wife please help.

    • Bannen says:

      Hi Martin… this ‘new woman’ might be talking openly about it, but really… you’ve been thinking these things for a long time, and she’s only helping to bring your thoughts out into the open for you. You’re having serious doubts, and the evidence is in everything you say. Start exploring that. You don’t have to make any rash changes based on what you find, but still… get it out into the open in your own mind. Do that enough, and later you will know what decisions and changes to make. I have emailed you.

  • G says:

    The hardest thing about life is that the people you love most can bring you down the most. I wish there was a way around the pain and suffering of relationships, but it seems like every now and then, great pain is inevitable. Thanks for this page. You’re doing a great thing.

    G

  • hazel says:

    the people closest to me don’t care. the only one i love lives across the country. i don’t know where to go or what to do. people around me disregard me. i am not very talented. what is the point of it all? why am i so lost? what do i do? how?

  • Will says:

    Good stuff! Life can be so difficult. Peace and good vibes to all!

  • Ailsa. D says:

    I don’t know what to do any more. Stress kills me. The voices in my head tell me to quit. I’m only 14 and I feel ancient. All I ever do is smile and help people but I don’t like talking to people. I’m scared that one day when I wake up I won’t be me anymore, in terrified of the neverending story that all our lives follow and the tears that spill down my face are for the pain of others that face so much more. I’m scared.

  • Scott says:

    Scared

  • Barb says:

    Hi Neil,

    How I wish you were still responding to emails.

    I’m not even sure what to say I’m so overwhelmed. This email will not save me. This moment will not change me. I’m so lost, confused and hopeless I don’t even know what I’m looking for. Hope. I guess. A friend, honestly. A purpose. Meaning.

    I wish I could have a coffee with you.

    • Bannen says:

      Hi Barb, yes I am still responding to emails; can’t seem to stop! I’ve emailed you.

    • Kate says:

      Hi Barb. Take a deep breath and take a step; forward, sideways, what ever you can deal with right now. Don’t give up. If not for yourself than for someone who loves you. I have struggled all my life with self-hatred (?) dispising myself (?). I am not sure what exactly is appropriate to call it. I found this site because I was feeling bad about myself and self-hatred was always the place I went. I read your comment and wanted to reach out to you and realized at the same time how far I have come. I still regress, from time to time but life is GOOD. Even if I can’t always like myself I know that there others who do. I do not always feel worthy of that positive regard, I know my view is skewed and I have learned to accept it (kinda-sort-a). I love you. Remember, we are very sensitive people and although that makes us frequently doubt ourselves, it is what people also love about us.

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL