Help Me Please

LET’S BEGIN.
Thank you for visiting my website. You’ve typed in ‘help me please’, which means you’ve gone beyond searching for a specific type of help, and your circumstances have overwhelmed you into making a more general plea: you are making YOUR DEEP CALL FOR HELP.

I’m answering. I offer sincere help throughout this site, it’s pure and it’s for free. There is no advice here, nothing to buy, no ads, no exercises or tests to take, no new things for you to ‘believe’ or ‘follow’. You can keep your religious beliefs, or lack thereof, because this is not a religious site, and yet it also includes every person in every religion.

Please read the following short introductions to the three kinds of help I offer here, and then start exploring whichever seems to meet your need at the moment.

Introduction: The HELP ME Book1. The HELP ME Book
There are options you have not thought about. Even the wisest, most intelligent and resourceful mind cannot think of every option. A life-saving option may be right in front of you, even within you, and because you are in such a dire state you’re not able to recognize it clearly.

There are options that can help you cope with, manage, make less painful, or solve (if they can be ‘solved’) your problems. I have heard so many people say, “I’ve tried everything!” and, “Nothing works, no one can help me!” and, “I don’t know what to do!”.

Do you really think you’ve tried ‘everything’? You haven’t come close to trying everything, and I’ll prove it here. Nothing works? Everything works in some way, you just haven’t opened to ‘everything’ in the right way. You don’t know what to do? On a certain level, you know entirely what to do; you just haven’t been able to look past your pain and fear and the noise in your head, and hear yourself.

The HELP ME Book is a shot of adrenaline for you. If you think you’re ‘at the end’, you’ve ‘hit bottom’, you’ve ‘run out of realistic options’, your ‘life is over’… please read my book. It is progressive, linear, blows apart your thought that you’ve tried everything and have reached your limit, and gives you many options you hadn’t thought about. Think of this book as a ‘primer before you reach out for more specific kinds of help’.

Remember: my book, like everything on this site, is free. Nothing to buy, nothing to learn, no exercises, no religiousness, no commercial spirituality. You just read it, and it starts to move something inside you. Note that this book is not simply a few brief website articles; this is a lot of reading, something to immerse yourself in, a big book published in web page form. Let’s begin with the Introduction.

Interview: Separating Parents2. THE INTERVIEWS
The most common thing you hear when you’re in difficulty or in crisis is ‘Talk to someone’. But sometimes you can’t, either because of your own limitations or because there’s simply no one around you feel you can talk to, who would be safe or helpful to talk with. So I’m bringing them to you.

These are interviews I do with people who have been through things. All kinds of people, from all areas, all ages, and all kinds of life happenings. One of the biggest blind spots of anyone who is suffering, is the feeling that you are alone, that no one understands. But if you are having deep troubles, and you read an interview, or a dozen interviews, with people who are going through similar things, you no longer feel so isolated. And you can learn, be helped, by hearing about how others have coped, even survived and thrived, through circumstances similar to what you are going through. They may not be able to listen to you in person, but by the way they share their own words here you’ll know that they would hear you if you were talking to them right now.

To read more about these interviews and how I conduct them, please read ‘The Interviews‘ page. Or you can go directly to any category under ‘THE INTERVIEWS’ heading at right, and select an interview whose title resonates with your own circumstances. Note that no interview is just about one thing; a ‘change of life’ interview might talk about some great or tragic event leading to that change; a ‘sexual abuse’ interview might talk about later problems in life resulting from the abuse. I try to loosely categorize each interview, but each one includes wider events.

I will add to these interviews constantly, so please check in at a later date, if you do not see an interview that helps you at the moment.

Free Your Thinking3. THE MIND TOOLS
Usually it is a wide collection of events and decisions that bring you down a road that eventually tightens and bottlenecks into your finally asking ‘help me please’. It is invariably a combination of external happenings, and your reactions and responses to them, that brings you to either success or suffering. This is not a matter of ‘fault’ or blame, of intelligence or strength; the smartest and strongest people can still end up in a place of despair and destitution.

But your mind can evolve into something better; not every difficult circumstance in your life can be thwarted or escaped, however there are thought-tools you can use to better cope with problems, and then to deal with enough parts of a problem so that the whole is reduced in severity and becomes something manageable.

These are a random series of mind tools. Mind tools are just that: thought-tools to help your mind build into a stronger entity. You don’t have to learn any new spiritual words, there are no exercises, you don’t have to learn or remember anything here. Mind tools are simple thoughts that clarify something in your head, help your thought process evolve into something more efficient, healthy, powerful, capable. You just read them, and they start to work.

You can read more about them on ‘The Mind Tools‘ page, or go directly to the Mind Tools category and select one that resonates with you. Each is a powerful tool to help you clear your mind, and clear up your life.

–   –   –

I hope these pages can help you. I won’t send you to any other websites, you can search those out on your own. Every article on this site is written by myself, every link goes to another page within this site only, every interview is conducted by myself and the final version is approved by the person being interviewed, and even the photos are all by me.

My mind is well now. But I have been in that place, of asking HELP ME PLEASE, many times in the past, for many years, and in situations I did not feel I could survive. So I think I can give you realistic and effective options.

And I hope I do that.

Thank you,
Neil

Neil

***One temporary note: Since I began this website I’ve been responding personally to every comment and email; for now I’ll have to stop, and when I can resume the emails again I will remove this note. Apologies and thank you.

240 Comments »

  • Stacey Bessett says:

    I am at the end

    • Bannen says:

      Not quite at the end; you have come here looking for help, which means you are just short of being at the end. And that is the biggest difference in the world.
      I have emailed you, Stacey.

  • Kevin says:

    Hi, you see i am a very sensitive person and I tend to get really worried when I do something wrong. Then I think I am the absolute worst person in the world. I just can not be able to forgive myself, what are some ways to forgive myself.

    • Bannen says:

      There seems to be a void, in the place where your sense of self and your feeling of worthiness should be. Let’s go find why that place is empty instead of filled. It originated along your growing-up years somewhere and planted some seeds that are hurting and weakening you today. When you go in search of what started you along this path to inner depletion… then the forgiveness and worthiness will start to arrive naturally.
      I emailed you, Kevin.

  • Kal says:

    My heart hurts more and more each day, but I keep fighting for those around me. No longer for myself.You have done an amazing thing here. Thank you for the time you took to read. If anyone needs someone to listen, I’m here.

    Love,
    Kal

    • Bannen says:

      Your head hurts, and you feel lost and not knowing how to fight for yourself anymore. And you want to further deplete yourself by setting yourself up to listen to others with serious issues? It is good that you have this compassion and you wish to help and be there for people;
      But that isn’t what you need right now. You sound very lost yourself, and you haven’t found a person who can really hear that in you. You deeply need someone to listen to you, not the other way around.
      I have emailed you, Kal.

  • Amberly says:

    I finally have a wonderful, new boyfriend. However, I am terrified he will leave me for someone else regardless of him telling me he won’t. I’m constantly putting myself down, crying, worrying, and it seems like my therapy isn’t working anymore. Help me please!

    • Bannen says:

      This isn’t about your boyfriend or him leaving you; this is about you feeling unworthy as a person, empty of self-worth, and being afraid of having that ‘proven’ all the time by anyone leaving you. This is about… what your life has been like up until now. What has your life been like, that it allowed you to become this person who feels so empty of value, so void of feeling important and worthy to yourself and to anyone else? Can you steer your attention away from depending on someone else to emotionally validate you, and instead turn your attention inward, deep inside your past and your mind now, and go in search of the worthy person who is missing from inside you?
      Thank you for writing, Amberly, I have emailed you.

  • Tanya says:

    I am in a real dark place, been feeling suicidal for the past 2 weeks.
    All my life I have felt this way however I had a child to think of, now i have nothing.
    No reason to really to continue, I am making a life but barley holding the fort.
    Really confused and alone.

  • Matt says:

    Please, I need help. I need some advice. My girlfriend just broke up with me yesterday morning. She did this because she says she has commitment issues, and she is afraid of it and restrictions. She is the first girl i have ever loved and I don’t know What I’m going to do without her. She says we might get back together but she doesn’t know when. Please i need help. I’m a Wreck right now. I have no appetite, i haven’t eaten in two days, I don’t know what to do.

  • Helpme says:

    Help me.

  • Debra says:

    I sincerely need help !!!! Went to several physciatrist Begging reaching out for help to no avail just more destruction ! The last physcaitrist sexually assaulted me! OM L please when I say I have tried EVERYTHING! I live in the most corrupt system I am or was quite a loving giving trusting person Honest to a fault!
    I am so tired of defending and proving my repeated attempts to keep safe and hide from the evil corrupt thrives that have robbed me of all ! I pray daily and have begged on my knees! So much more to say you would be amazed! In the name of Jesus but to avail
    Bad cons thieves surround me I have even been beaten by those who ate to protect and serve! I’m so so tired And am unable

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