Help Me Please

Thank you for visiting my website. You’ve typed in ‘help me please’, which means you’ve gone beyond searching for a specific type of help, and your circumstances have overwhelmed you into making a single deep call for help.

I will try to offer sincere help throughout this site, and for free. There will be no advice here, nothing to buy, no exercises or tests to take, no new things for you to ‘believe’ or ‘follow’; what I offer you is options, enough options to maybe help disassemble some parts of your problems, hopefully show you a spark of light.

Please read the following short introductions to the three kinds of help I offer here, and then start exploring whichever seems to meet your need most authentically.

Introduction: The Course1. THE COURSE
There are always options you have not thought about. Even the wisest, most intelligent and resourceful mind cannot think of every option. Often a life-saving option is literally right in front of you, even within you, and because you are in such a dire state you’re not able to see it clearly.

A magical fact is that there are options that can help everyone. There are actually generic options that you can apply to help cope with, make less painful, or solve (if they can be ‘solved’) your problems. I have heard so many people say “I’ve tried EVERYTHING!”, and “Nothing works, no one can help me!”, and “I don’t know what to do!”.

You think you’ve tried everything? You haven’t even come close to trying everything, and I’ll prove it in The Course. Nothing works? Everything works, you just haven’t opened to it in the right way. You don’t know what to do? You know entirely what to do, you just haven’t been able to look past your pain and fear, and listen properly.

THE COURSE is a shot of adrenaline for you. If you think you’re ‘at the end’, you’ve ‘hit bottom’, you’ve ‘run out of realistic options’, your ‘life is over’… take my course. It is progressive, linear, blows apart your thought that you’ve reached your limit, and gives you many options you hadn’t thought about. Think of it as a ‘primer before you reach out for any other kind of help’.

Remember: my course, like everything on this site, is free. Nothing to buy, nothing to learn, no exercises, no religiousness, no commercial spirituality. You just read it, and it starts to move something inside you. Note that these are not brief website articles; this is a lot of reading, something to immerse yourself in, a book published in web page form. Let’s begin with the Introduction.

Interview: Separating Parents2. THE INTERVIEWS
These are interviews I do with people who have been through things. All kinds of people, from all areas, all ages, and all kinds of life happenings. One of the biggest blind spots of anyone who is suffering, is the feeling that they are alone, that no one understands. But if you are having deep troubles, and you read an interview, or a dozen interviews, with people who are going through similar things, you no longer feel so isolated, and you can learn, be helped, by hearing about how others have coped, even survived and thrived, through circumstances similar to what you are going through.

To read more about these interviews and how I conduct them, please read ‘The Interviews‘ page. Or you can go directly to any category under ‘THE INTERVIEWS’ heading at right, and select an interview whose title resonates with your own circumstances. Note that no interview is just about one thing; a ‘change of life’ interview might talk about some great or tragic event leading to that change; a ‘sexual abuse’ interview might talk about later problems in life resulting from the abuse. I try to loosely categorize each interview, but each one includes wider events.

I will add to these interviews constantly, so please check in at a later date, if you do not see an interview that helps you at the moment.

Free Your Thinking3. THE MIND TOOLS
Usually it is a wide collection of events and decisions that bring you down a road that eventually tightens and bottlenecks into your finally asking ‘help me please’. It is invariably a combination of external happenings, and your reactions and responses to them, that brings you to either success or suffering. This is not a matter of ‘fault’ or blame, of intelligence or strength; the smartest and strongest people can still end up in a place of despair and destitution.

But your mind can evolve into something better; not every difficult circumstance in your life can be thwarted or escaped, however there are thought-tools you can use to better cope with problems, or even to deal with enough parts of a problem so that the whole is reduced in severity and becomes something manageable.

These are a random series of mind tools. Mind tools are just that: thought-tools to help your mind build into a stronger entity. You don’t have to learn any new spiritual words, there are no exercises, you don’t have to learn or remember anything here. Mind tools are simple thoughts that clarify something in your head, help your thought process evolve into something more efficient, healthy, powerful, capable. You just read them, and they start to work.

You can read more about them on ‘The Mind Tools‘ page, or go directly to the Mind Tools category and select one that resonates with you. Each is a powerful tool to help you clear your mind, and clear up your life.

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I hope these pages can help you. I won’t send you to any other websites, you can search those out on your own. Every article on this site is written by myself, every link goes to another page within this site only, every interview is conducted by myself and the final version is approved by the person being interviewed, and even the photos are all by me.

My mind is well now. But I have been in that place, of asking HELP ME PLEASE, many times in the past, for many years, and in situations where I did not think I would survive. So I think I can give you realistic and effective options.

And I hope I do that.

Thank you,



  • Broken says:

    I can’t find a category to fit under. my life has been a roller coaster of physical and mental abuse in many forms from many people. Then I thought I was free but now I know I am not and will never be. somehow I have stayed strong until now. Now I am so broken I can barely hold my head up. I have people who depend on me and it’s a struggle to get out of my bed each day.

  • Melody says:

    I’m reading the course right now, and I just want to say thank you so much. I was in a really bad state, the kind that’s been happening more and more often, not knowing what to do, scared and feeling helpless. I’ve only just scratched the surface of what you’ve written but for the first time, for the first time I feel like someone really understands, someone has been there, because before this even though books and people say otherwise, I felt completely alone and in alien strange territory. I cried when I read your introduction. Thank you so much.

    • Bannen says:

      Thank you, Melody, and our further emails have been illuminating. You are so insightful and clear-headed for your age. Actually for ANY age.

  • Jenna says:

    Please help me. I’m so lost and have nowhere to turn. No one understands the pain, not even me.

  • Eli says:

    im in a military school. and i really want to go home already. i want to live the life i once had. i cant focus anymore and all im just thinking and wishing is about going home. problem is my life will no longer be the same as it was. everyone back home looks up to me as some kind of successful one. and my father would probably deny me once i quit or be discharged. im a hundred percent anxious and a hundred percent depress. i really do not know what to do. im stuck and im running out of time. i just want to live like i once was. please help

    • Bannen says:

      I’ve emailed you, Eli.

      And: For a moment, suspend what everyone else in your life thinks about you; if you knew everyone would love you, support you, help you, throw money at you, cheer you on regardless of your decision…

      …What decision would you make?

      Then: can you make the same decision, or some realistic compromise of it, even knowing that you might not be supported, might disappoint people, might receive little or no help?

      I do not know the answers for you, but ‘suspension of what others think about you’ can be a valuable tool in figuring out your decisions, just as valuable as taking into account what everyone will think about you.

  • Andrew says:

    Please. Tell me what do i Do. I have no more rope left. Please feel. Free to call me , i feel. Like jumping out the window

  • Cherrice says:

    I feel like I’m the struggle.. No matter how close I am to the goal it gets Snatched away
    I do not know what I did in my past that I have to be like this now
    This cannot be my future!!
    I’m sooo stressed I just wanna go swim far away …..
    I won’t
    I’m blessed to continue to breathe this f/:ked up air

  • Ariya says:

    I wonder
    If i died
    Would anyone care
    Will it matter to anyone
    Will i get a funeral
    Or will people party about it
    I wonder
    If anyone will cry
    Or even be sad about
    Or will they all b laughing
    I wonder
    If i died
    Then will anyone feel the loss
    Will anyone miss me
    Will they care
    I wonder
    If i kill my self
    Will they bother to find out why
    Or will they just keep on living
    As if nothing happened
    I wonder
    If i died

    Will some be heart broken
    Or did people resent me so much
    I wonder
    How i will die
    At my hands
    Or at the hands of my god
    If it will be an accident
    Or will it be suicide
    I wonder
    If i meant anything at all
    Or did people loath me that much…

  • sealsocks says:

    I don’t know why nobody has commented here yet! But I will be the first to say THANK YOU, for this, thank you, because it is so rare to find people who genuinely do something because they care about it and not for any other reasons. I have done such things and it often gets thrown back in your face, and you start to wonder if you should bother, but somehow I can’t help it, I just have to try and do good. So thank you again for being a dude. There are not so many of them! All best wishes to you and for a better world.

    • Bannen says:

      FYI to readers: I do not ask friends or readers to make comments on my site; I’d rather the comments happen naturally and organically, rather than as an ‘urged’ comment for social marketing. I receive a lot of spam and fake comments and check each one before giving it the ok; I checked and this is indeed legit.

      Thank you very much for your THANK YOU! Thrilled to know these interviews and articles are of help to someone.

      • Phoebe says:

        I’m beyond words. Still working the course.
        So broken, that I can’t see how I can get thru this. But I have a little hope now.
        And a plan.. i will bust the sludge ball into baby sludgelings and deal with them one by one.
        I could not understand why the universe wasn’t helping me.
        It was- I just couldn’t see it
        I have to learn to trust myself.
        To fix myself.
        To have ppl in my life based on want- not need.
        Thank you.
        I’m terrified and beat up, hurting and bruised, but I know where to start,
        and I’m moving towards something… Whatever that is.
        It’s better than dead and frozen inside.

        You have literally no idea… This saved my life.
        Thank you.

        • Bannen says:

          Thank you for writing, Phoebe. ‘The Course’ is a bit frazzled and needs a serious rewrite to make it clearer… but at the time I felt an overwhelming rightness in just getting the first drafts done and out there, and cleaning it up later. I’m so glad I did, instead of waiting.

          Also, I wrote the Course in a way that urges everyone to realize… you already know this stuff, it’s all within you. Most of us just need some kind of reminder in order to consciously recognize that it’s there.

          And thank you for your very sharing email. We will be writing each other more.

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