Help Me Please

LET’S GET STARTED.
Thank you for visiting my website. You’ve typed in ‘help me please’, which means you’ve gone beyond searching for a specific type of help, and your circumstances have overwhelmed you into making a single deep call for help.

I will try to offer sincere help throughout this site, and for free. There will be no advice here, nothing to buy, no exercises or tests to take, no new things for you to ‘believe’ or ‘follow’; what I offer you is options, enough options to maybe help disassemble some parts of your problems, hopefully show you a spark of light.

Please read the following short introductions to the three kinds of help I offer here, and then start exploring whichever seems to meet your need most authentically.

Introduction: The Course1. THE COURSE
There are always options you have not thought about. Even the wisest, most intelligent and resourceful mind cannot think of every option. Often a life-saving option is literally right in front of you, even within you, and because you are in such a dire state you’re not able to see it clearly.

A magical fact is that there are options that can help everyone. There are actually generic options that you can apply to help cope with, make less painful, or solve (if they can be ‘solved’) your problems. I have heard so many people say “I’ve tried EVERYTHING!”, and “Nothing works, no one can help me!”, and “I don’t know what to do!”.

You think you’ve tried everything? You haven’t even come close to trying everything, and I’ll prove it in The Course. Nothing works? Everything works, you just haven’t opened to it in the right way. You don’t know what to do? You know entirely what to do, you just haven’t been able to look past your pain and fear, and listen properly.

THE COURSE is a shot of adrenaline for you. If you think you’re ‘at the end’, you’ve ‘hit bottom’, you’ve ‘run out of realistic options’, your ‘life is over’… take my course. It is progressive, linear, blows apart your thought that you’ve reached your limit, and gives you many options you hadn’t thought about. Think of it as a ‘primer before you reach out for any other kind of help’.

Remember: my course, like everything on this site, is free. Nothing to buy, nothing to learn, no exercises, no religiousness, no commercial spirituality. You just read it, and it starts to move something inside you. Note that these are not brief website articles; this is a lot of reading, something to immerse yourself in, a book published in web page form. Let’s begin with the Introduction.

Interview: Separating Parents2. THE INTERVIEWS
These are interviews I do with people who have been through things. All kinds of people, from all areas, all ages, and all kinds of life happenings. One of the biggest blind spots of anyone who is suffering, is the feeling that they are alone, that no one understands. But if you are having deep troubles, and you read an interview, or a dozen interviews, with people who are going through similar things, you no longer feel so isolated, and you can learn, be helped, by hearing about how others have coped, even survived and thrived, through circumstances similar to what you are going through.

To read more about these interviews and how I conduct them, please read ‘The Interviews‘ page. Or you can go directly to any category under ‘THE INTERVIEWS’ heading at right, and select an interview whose title resonates with your own circumstances. Note that no interview is just about one thing; a ‘change of life’ interview might talk about some great or tragic event leading to that change; a ‘sexual abuse’ interview might talk about later problems in life resulting from the abuse. I try to loosely categorize each interview, but each one includes wider events.

I will add to these interviews constantly, so please check in at a later date, if you do not see an interview that helps you at the moment.

Free Your Thinking3. THE MIND TOOLS
Usually it is a wide collection of events and decisions that bring you down a road that eventually tightens and bottlenecks into your finally asking ‘help me please’. It is invariably a combination of external happenings, and your reactions and responses to them, that brings you to either success or suffering. This is not a matter of ‘fault’ or blame, of intelligence or strength; the smartest and strongest people can still end up in a place of despair and destitution.

But your mind can evolve into something better; not every difficult circumstance in your life can be thwarted or escaped, however there are thought-tools you can use to better cope with problems, or even to deal with enough parts of a problem so that the whole is reduced in severity and becomes something manageable.

These are a random series of mind tools. Mind tools are just that: thought-tools to help your mind build into a stronger entity. You don’t have to learn any new spiritual words, there are no exercises, you don’t have to learn or remember anything here. Mind tools are simple thoughts that clarify something in your head, help your thought process evolve into something more efficient, healthy, powerful, capable. You just read them, and they start to work.

You can read more about them on ‘The Mind Tools‘ page, or go directly to the Mind Tools category and select one that resonates with you. Each is a powerful tool to help you clear your mind, and clear up your life.

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I hope these pages can help you. I won’t send you to any other websites, you can search those out on your own. Every article on this site is written by myself, every link goes to another page within this site only, every interview is conducted by myself and the final version is approved by the person being interviewed, and even the photos are all by me.

My mind is well now. But I have been in that place, of asking HELP ME PLEASE, many times in the past, for many years, and in situations where I did not think I would survive. So I think I can give you realistic and effective options.

And I hope I do that.

Thank you,
Neil

Neil

191 Comments »

  • Sanka says:

    Hey there, i stumbled across this website by exactly how you mentioned above. I am in need of help and i have no idea where to look for this help. Basically it all started with me moving away to college about 10 hours from where my hometown is. I thought it was going to be exciting and an enjoyable experience, instead i ran into sex driven college students, drinking every night students. I felt like i had made the wrong choice of going to college here since i do not fit in at all with the majority of the student body and as many know, college revolves around socializing. Due to me not having many friends here i simply hung out with my gf which by the way came from the same town as me. She and I would have sex literally every single day, and yes i respected and loved her but even sex wasnt really for me. It just didnt feel right, eventually i got an addiction to sex and it was a horrible feeling which i will describe later. So while in college i would go to class, maybe talk to a friend or two, quickly head home, do some homework and then get on my pc and play games all day long. The problem is that i began to prioritize my video game rather than school. I was and am okay with it to a degree simply because i want to be a professional gamer. Most people hear that and think im crazy but i am being as serious as can be. Anywho, i ended up doing great my first semester but then second semester came down, this is where everything went to the dump. I broke up with my gf because i knew it wasnt fair for her that i didnt show the same affection she showed towards me. She ended up taking advantage of my addiction to sex and would literally be over at my place everyday so that we could do it, making it impossible to leave her completely. I began to fail my math class and my computer science class. Computer science is my major and the only major that i had a little interest in. So when i began to fail to the point where i had to drop the class, i became depressed because i had no idea what to do with my life. I know video games is my goal but that will take time and all this time that is being wasted idk what to do with it. So i failed a class, dropped a class, became depressed, was a sex addict, and began to over eat since it made me feel happy. Food was my source of happiness, food combined with video games was my happy place. I ignored the world outside and became a text book game nerd. By the time my first year of college was over, i had gained about 30lb which is ridiculous. I was only using gym shorts and about 3 shirts that i felt fit me well. I had lost all confidence, i was ashamed at what i had become and yet i did nothing to stop. Now it’s summer vacation and its been almost two months that i arrived at my parents’ home, where i used to live before college. My mom is supportive and was trying to help me lose the weight but i became addicted to food especially fast food. So no matter what my mother would tell me to try and motivate me, i would fall right back into the fast food trap. I wanted to lose weight over the summer, i wanted to get even better at my video games so that i could start streaming when i get back to college, i wanted to finally get rid of that ex girlfriend that has been with me all along. But in the end, i never lost any weight, my mind is programmed to do the opposite of what i want to do, i guess i dont have the will power anymore…video games are eh, and that ex gf i finally told her to leave me alone and please stop taking advantage of my addiction that she had given me. She still contacts me everyday, someitmes i reply other times i dont. I have a couple good friends but ive never been able to share most of my feelings with them, mainly because i grew up in an environment where you shouldnt look for help from others, you figure it out yourself, but if someone needs help you have to be right there with them. I know i wrote a lot and maybe not all of this makes sense but i am backed into a corner and had no where else to go. I am afraid of what the future holds for me if i cant change myself. Self esteem is at a new time low, happiness is faked mostly, friends are only friends when we are having a good time playing video games. I am disgusted of myself, i hate looking in the mirror. And i hate that i let myself get into this postiion after being a top athlete in highscool and not having many issues to worry about. I cant remember that last time i didnt go through a day without insulting myself and putting myself down in everything i do. I feel as if i am falling into depression if not i already am in depression i just dont notice it since it would be the first time i admit i am in a depression.

    • Bannen says:

      Thanks for sharing; I have emailed you, but I’m copying a couple of my email statements into this reply, so others might be helped by it.

      There is one common thread through your whole letter, and I think it is summed up best by your statement “i grew up in an environment where you shouldnt look for help from others, you figure it out yourself,”

      I think this shows a deep neglect of your feelings when you were growing up. You didn’t mention how your parents are to you, but I think you are feeling very empty somehow; empty of affection, or validation, or worthiness, or all those. It’s like you were left all alone, at least emotionally, even if you were surrounded by good people. It sounds like you were brought up in a ‘hands off’ family, where they worked and gave you a home, but where you were also maybe cut off from a certain intimacy and nurturing.

      This is glaringly apparent in where you are headed with college and pastimes and comforts: you seem very empty of love and affection, so all the things you’re attracted to are things that stuff you with ‘stimulation’, in the most shallow but intense and immediate way: food stuffs you with immediate stimulation, sex addiction stuffs you with immediate stimulation, video gaming stuffs you with immediate stimulation. So you’re turning to things, in pastime and in career, that stuff you with a shallow but quick and intense stimulation… and you’re doing that in an almost desperate attempt to stuff yourself with a shallow and quick good feeling, because on a deeper level you’re really missing something in the realm of good feeling about yourself.

  • Tanaz says:

    Hi. I know someone who has used this website to seek help before and it resulted that person to heal in great extends. So I have come to this website seeking help for my issues. I am very young. And issues i face in this age may be deemed abnormal. I have EXTREME social anxiety. I have been facing it for a very long time but have recently come in terms with it. mainly because this seems extremely un-plausible and that the thought scares me. i have known some people suffering social anxiety in various platforms and because of this, their lives have been caved in and ruined. They face difficulty exposing to the most common public areas and making small conversation with people. And slowly, i feel like that’s happening to me too. I am having an extremely difficult time confronting people, even my family. I have left cycling because whenever i do, I feel like everyone is staring at me and judging me for no apparent reason. And I know that it’s not true and I know that it shouldn’t let me down but I can’t act upon it. It is getting the best out of me. I need help.

  • Luke says:

    Hi my name is Luke
    I found this site because to be honest I’ve have no idea what to do anymore. My fiancé is an alcoholic we have been together nearly 6 years, only last year she pick up a drink again and without going into to much detail it nearly finished us. We lost our home all the money on or wedding all sorts of things happened. Anyway the last 3 months she has been sober up until last Thursday when picked up again and has done everyday since. We are meant to be moving back in together a week today. It’s all paid for ect. Not only this when I need her the most my mum has got pancreatic cancer I need her to do the one thing she can’t and not drink. I feel so alone I’m absolutely devastated

  • Ram says:

    Hi, suffering from bipolar disorder .. international student doing my masters in computer science.failed in subjects . disqualified ,jobless ..can’t say it to my parents who don’t understand my situation ..no one here for me ..suicidal thoughts ..wanted to become a computer scientist …but all hopes gone now ..

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