Help Me Please
LET’S BEGIN.
First, for anyone who is at their end, right here and right now–I’m talking about suicide–and you’ve tried all the other options and I’m your last hope… please go directly to my page called Beyond The End. Do it now.
For the rest of you, thank you for visiting my website. You’ve typed in ‘help me please’, which means you’ve gone beyond searching for a specific type of help, and your circumstances have overwhelmed you into making a more general plea: you are making YOUR DEEP CALL FOR HELP.
I’m answering. I offer sincere help throughout this site, it’s pure and it’s for free. There is no advice here, nothing to buy, no ads, no exercises or tests to take, no new things for you to ‘believe’ or ‘follow’. You can keep your religious beliefs, or lack thereof, because this is not a religious site, and yet it also includes every person in every religion.
Please read the following short introductions to the three kinds of help I offer here, and then start exploring whichever seems to meet your need at the moment.
***I hope something on my site resonates with you, maybe helps your situation, offers a little peace and some options. Please read ‘The Help Me Book’. There is so much I still need to put on this site and I apologize for so much that is missing, and I’m sorry if your situation falls into those gaps and you aren’t helped. For the time being I’m closing comments, and I’m very sorry for that as well. I wish I could personally hear every one of you. I am taking a lot of time to re-organize this site globally, and adding a lot of pages, to make it easier for you to find the exact help you are looking for. Until then, please read my present site, despite its limitations. I will take this notice down once the site is updated.
1. The HELP ME Book
There are options you have not thought about. Even the wisest, most intelligent and resourceful mind cannot think of every option. A life-saving option may be right in front of you, even within you, and because you are in such a dire state you’re not able to recognize it clearly.
There are options that can help you cope with, manage, make less painful, or solve (if they can be ‘solved’) your problems. I have heard so many people say, “I’ve tried everything!” and, “Nothing works, no one can help me!” and, “I don’t know what to do!”.
Do you really think you’ve tried ‘everything’? You haven’t come close to trying everything, and I’ll prove it here. Nothing works? Everything works in some way, you just haven’t opened to ‘everything’ in the right way. You don’t know what to do? On a certain level, you know entirely what to do; you just haven’t been able to look past your pain and fear and the noise in your head, and hear yourself.
The HELP ME Book is a shot of adrenaline for you. If you think you’re ‘at the end’, you’ve ‘hit bottom’, you’ve ‘run out of realistic options’, your ‘life is over’… please read my book. It is progressive, linear, blows apart your thought that you’ve tried everything and have reached your limit, and gives you many options you hadn’t thought about. Think of this book as a ‘primer before you reach out for more specific kinds of help’.
Remember: my book, like everything on this site, is free. Nothing to buy, nothing to learn, no exercises, no religiousness, no commercial spirituality. You just read it, and it starts to move something inside you. Note that this book is not simply a few brief website articles; this is a lot of reading, something to immerse yourself in, a big book published in web page form. Let’s begin with the Introduction.
2. THE INTERVIEWS
The most common thing you hear when you’re in difficulty or in crisis is ‘Talk to someone’. But sometimes you can’t, either because of your own limitations or because there’s simply no one around you feel you can talk to, who would be safe or helpful to talk with. So I’m bringing them to you.
These are interviews I do with people who have been through things. All kinds of people, from all areas, all ages, and all kinds of life happenings. One of the biggest blind spots of anyone who is suffering, is the feeling that you are alone, that no one understands. But if you are having deep troubles, and you read an interview, or a dozen interviews, with people who are going through similar things, you no longer feel so isolated. And you can learn, be helped, by hearing about how others have coped, even survived and thrived, through circumstances similar to what you are going through. They may not be able to listen to you in person, but by the way they share their own words here you’ll know that they would hear you if you were talking to them right now.
To read more about these interviews and how I conduct them, please read ‘The Interviews‘ page. Or you can go directly to any category under ‘THE INTERVIEWS’ heading at right, and select an interview whose title resonates with your own circumstances. Note that no interview is just about one thing; a ‘change of life’ interview might talk about some great or tragic event leading to that change; a ‘sexual abuse’ interview might talk about later problems in life resulting from the abuse. I try to loosely categorize each interview, but each one includes wider events.
I will add to these interviews constantly, so please check in at a later date, if you do not see an interview that helps you at the moment.
3. ClearYourMind.com
Usually it is a wide collection of events and decisions that bring you down a road that eventually tightens and bottlenecks into your finally asking ‘help me please’. It is invariably a combination of external happenings, and your reactions and responses to them, that brings you to either success or suffering. This is not a matter of ‘fault’ or blame, of intelligence or strength; the smartest and strongest people can still end up in a place of despair and destitution.
But your mind can evolve into something better; not every difficult circumstance in your life can be thwarted or escaped, however there are mind-tools you can use to better cope with problems, and then to deal with enough parts of a problem so that the whole is reduced in severity and becomes something manageable.
These are a random series of mind tools. Mind tools are just that: thought-tools to help your mind build into a stronger entity. You don’t have to learn any new spiritual words, there are no exercises, you don’t have to learn or remember anything here. Mind tools are simple thoughts that clarify something in your head, help your thought process evolve into something more efficient, healthy, powerful, capable. You just read them, and they start to work.
You can read them at www.ClearYourMind.com. As with this site, there are no ads there, nothing to buy, and all articles and photos are by me. Enjoy.
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I hope these pages can help you. Every article on this site is written by myself, every interview is conducted by myself and the final version is approved by the person being interviewed, and the photos are all by me.
I have been in that place, of asking HELP ME PLEASE, many times in the past, for many years, and in situations I did not feel I could survive. So I think I can give you realistic and effective options.
And I hope I do that.
Thank you,
Neil
All your courses are awesome.. finally you helped me… thanks
Hello Ilayaraja, thank you and I’m glad something here helped you.
Hi. I’m 19, f, not from the US lol
I’ll try to be short. I didn’t get accepted in uni this year, so I’ll try the next one. I applied in a foreign country because nothing was left for me in my country, where I was raised and born. Long story short, I left home because my parents no longer supported me in anything, and I was never close with them in any way. My brother and I don’t speak for almost 5 years. We are just completely different characters, I never got along with my paps or bro, and never will. But what made me stay there, even after all the failure and hardship I went through (can’t get a job, and when I did I worked for 200 euros per month), were my friends. Practically they were the only thing I had, eventually things got fucked up. The people I considered my friends… set me up, just so they can find their way out. I really wouldn’t explain, but what disappointed me most was having nudes(not technically but the pics were very slutty,yes I was drugged, a person made me do them and I was high on mdma, so I did it out of empathy) released by my best friend, for no plausible reason.
After having the pictures seen by everyone, I lost all support. No one wanted to hear my side of the story. That made me very depressed. I barely coped with everyday life .
But now, I’m stuck here with no one, I don’t have a job, and even when I get one… I can’t even pay my expanses let alone save or, I don’t know what. I just want to leave this place, delete my past and start all over. I feel like suffocating by the people here, trust me you don’t want to know where I live.
I didn’t get accepted in uni.
I have no financial support, or any kind of support. I’m just tired and for the last couple of months I’m really suicidal. If I only had some money to leave. I’d go anywhere.
I’ve never been more miserable than this.
Thanks in advance.
Hi Laura, I have emailed you.
Hello,
I’ve been dating this girl for a few months, and I really care about her. She’s been pushing the relationship fairly quickly, enough so that she wants to move in together already. I’m considering this option not only for her, who needs help financially, but for myself as well; I’m 25, and I still live at home, so I feel pretty pathetic. I’ve never been with someone that I can be myself around without fear of being judged, and we get along tremendously. Unfortunately, she suffers from severe depression. And lately, she’s been talking constantly about her ex. She speaks of him so frequently, and in such high regard, I feel like I’m being compared to him. She even said that she wants to name her child after him, and won’t take ‘No’ for an answer. Also, she told me that she put me on a list of sexual experiences she’s had with people, and told me that I’m not on the top of the list. I brought this up with her recently, and told her how much that it hurt me. While driving home, she called me in tears asking me to come back because she was hurting herself since she felt so bad about hurting me. I drove back to find flowers and chocolates waiting for me, along with her having fresh cuts on her wrists and legs. I don’t want to hurt her, she’s a sweetheart and deserves to be happy, but I don’t know what to do. I can’t deal with this kind of emotional pressure, and I feel like if I try to leave her, she’ll kill herself. I couldn’t live with myself if something like that happened to her because of what I did. I can’t ask her to see a psychiatrist, she’s already been through that, and it was a dreadful experience for her. I really care about this girl and want her to be happy, but I can’t do this…I cried myself to sleep because of this situation. Please help me…I don’t know what to do.
Hello Chris, I emailed you.
Hey, I’m 14 years old and live with an abusive family. I’m constantly berated, hit, ignored, humiliated, and terrorized by my parents. Because of this I have developed depression, anxiety, binge eating disorder, ADD, and panic attack disorder. I’m constantly in fear of being beaten when I’m home. Also, i feel as if I’m walking on egg shells; if I do one thing wrong, I will be berated and beaten until I’m having a panic attack. They will also take away belongings I hold dear, such as my books, phone, and laptop for months at a time. My dad constantly threatens to hurt my cat if I misbehave. My social contact with my friends and boyfriend are limited because of my constant lack of a phone. I have been dating my boyfriend Jon for a few years now and he is the only person I trust with my emotions. He’s the one person who makes me happy. But as a “punishment”, my parents cut off all communication with him. I am ignored at home and referred to as “that one” or “her”, as if my very name is disgusting. I am usually too scared to leave my room in fear of my parents. Additionally, I have little to no privacy. I don’t have a door, nor a room of my own. My mom watches everything I do on my phone for no reason. I am constantly called “crazy” because I had a therapist at one time. My dad complained about my constant need for doctors because of my crippling depression and says its my fault. I always feel so alone. Its hard for me to imagine how people have such good relations with their parents. I desperately wish I was able to move to my boyfriend’s house and live under his parents care, but i obviously can’t. I dont know what to do anymore…I want to die
Hello Brianna, I’ve emailed you.
I don’t know where to start.
I’m Amanda. I’ve no one to rely on. I feel like no one can understand me. I feel so alone. My parents don’t trust me and keeps on saying I’m abnormal. They keep saying about wanting a normal child. But I am. They just don’t care. But I know they still love me, atleast I make my self believe that. I have no friends. My best friend that’s been with me through my suicidal days is far away. Unable to be reached. My other friends at school have no reason to understand me since they’re just spoiled rich kids. I keep on asking my parents to go to a psychologist but they keep resisting. I mean I do know myself, I’m an infp, i have an anxiety issue, and get stressed a lot. I can explain more. I can explain it to my parents but I wouldn’t be able to explain it properly. Guess I just wanted them to hear it from someone to trust on so they would believe me. I feel tired most of the time but I have no where to rest myself from the world. I feel so alone in a crowded place. No one can hear me. I just want to escape the world sometimes. It’s my biggest dream. I’m not talking about suicide. I’ve been through it and can happily say I’ve made a strong wall. I’m just tired and in need of who’d listen and hug me. But this isn’t listenandhug.com. I actually don’t know what I’m talking about. I can never speak properly. Ugh. But thank you for receiving this and doing such an amazing job to help people who needs help.
Hi Amanda, I’ve emailed you.
Hello i need help im dealing with anxiety thats rele bad all the time family issues school and a girlfriend that wont talk to me ever its lonely depressing and i feel like im jyst drifting thru life amd dont know what to do im scared
Hello Rob, I’ve emailed you.
Well I’m not entirely sure why I am doing this, or if I really need to. I can’t say I’ve honestly ‘run out if options’ or claim that ‘nothing’s worked ‘ but I can say that I’m not sure who to turn to. Is this even the right place to turn to ??
Like I previously stated I’m not sure I have a problem.
I’m 16 years old and my ‘problem ‘ started maybe a few months back. My problem is the reoccurring nightmare Ive been having. Same scenario. Just played out differently. It’s happened more often than not, either in the form of a nightmare or day dream.
All in all its been affecting my sleep and leaves me paranoid.
The dream usually starts with a man, or men, breaking into my home. Usually they’d go after my younger by a year sister, try to harm her, and I feeling the need to do something and I would then proceed to attack the attacker. My nightmare ends as per usual, the attacker dead viciously.
If I had a weapon I would use it on them mercilessly. Continually gouging into then in a fit of rage or shooting them until there was no bullets left.
If I had none I would use my hands and teeth to rip out there throat.
Each nightmare more gruesome than the last.
I don’t have the ability nor skill to do this in real life. Nor would I want to do it.
Like I said this has been making me lose sleep , I’m constantly scared and I fear the worst. Honestly right now I’m jinxing myself and waiting for it to happen. Like it is supposed to happen.
If I sort-of rationalize this, the dreams could be me feeling useless ? Incapable of protecting myself or my family. Wanting to be able to by any means necessary ?? Scared of reality of the possibilities of something bad happening.
Anyways I just really need advice I guess ??? How do I stop the dreams or maybe just idk advice.
Hello Vie, I emailed you.
I’m 25 years old and suffering from Brain Tumor. In my family no one knows about it, just few friends of mine know but they too don’t bother with that. It all started when I broke up with my gf after a 4 year of relationship. After the break up my headache started rapidly and when I make the test and then I come to now about this problem. I told her (my ex) about this but she refuse to believe me as she was thinking that I am doing all these to get her back. And she gone. I was all alone and fought with this deadly disease for about one and hour year. In that time I was totally a changed man. I started drinking and taking drugs too. I was in wrong path and I knew that but I couldn’t help myself that time. After some time I quit drinking and my problem was too stable. Then came an another girl in my life. I again got involved with her emotionally. My family also came to know about her too and they were too very happy for me as I was Socially disconnected with my family and friends. But now again same thing happening with me. we’re worried about our future that whether we’ll get married or not and due to this thinking my new gf have changed a lot. She don’t talk to me like the way she used to talk to me previously. Due to her change in behavior my headache started again. And all hat tumor attacks started too. Now my gf is the only one who know about it but she have already changed her to that level that I can’t get her back. She care about me but don’t show it. I can’t consult with my family because I only have my brother and my mother in my family. My brother have just started his career and my mom love us a lot and she couldn’t bear this thing. My father died when I was one and half. I’m not that much strong to handle this thing anymore. I’m tired of my life very much. Sometime I feel suicidal but when I think about my mom I can’t do that. I am helpless. I need help. Help me please…..
Hello Ramandeep, I have emailed you.
Hey,
I’m 14 years old and am suffering from ADHD, Depression and Behavior Issues. I can’t control myself and I’m truly afraid of myself. I’ve run away before thinking I would feel better to be away from what makes me feel bad at home. It doesn’t help. The further away I got from home the more alone the more scared i felt. I didn’t know what would happen to me… but I really didn’t care. My parents always pick me second over my 10 year old sister. She gets things that I would never even dream of asking for. I was told once that there is always a rough draft before the final copy whether it is intended or not. I’ve accepted that I am the rough draft of my family but I can’t live with it much longer. Recently, I’ve been having suicidal thoughts and I get closer every time I try. I need someone who can hear me out, who understands me but nobody does. I hate myself more and more but I can’t get over that I’ve lost almost all my friends over the summer because I can’t deal with any drama in my life. People say that true friends stick around forever right, not in my case they discover who you really are and then turn and leave you in the dust.
I want to die. Nobody can hate or yell at someone who’s not there right? What’s the point of being in a world where every single person in the around can’t stand you?
Help me please…
When you mention about friends, remember something: a friend is different from a counselor or some other kind of helper. Your friends, like most people, want a friend, not someone to ‘take you on as a project’ they have to deal with and help. There is a difference. Yes, a good friend can also be there for you to some extent, but that’s not really the ‘friend job’. That’s the helper-job.
Everyone has issues of some kind; but some of us have such intense issues, it goes beyond the normal issue range and up into the severe issue range. And very few people can deal with that in any kind of relationship, because in that extreme range it’s no longer about the relationship, it’s about dealing with the issues as a project.
Your issues are more severe. I know what that’s like, because mine were too. And I realized it wasn’t up to my friends or lovers or family to heal me of my issues. It was up to me to heal myself to a point of health where I could indeed have a healthy relationship with someone else, rather than being a project for them to deal with.
It sounds like you have some very deep issues about not being validated by your family. You seem to have a very low self-worth and self-opinion. From a couple of your phrases, I suspect you have had an abusive, or at least troubled/dysfunctional family life, problems with your parents? And it sounds like the people around you won’t be able to ‘fill’ you with validation, worthiness, and help you explore who you are.
So… it’s up to you. Why not go in search of who you are… the person inside you who knows his own value, regardless of whether or not your family makes you feel worthy? You are worthy, that’s given to you from the moment you were born. So if you’re not feeling worthy, it’s only because you haven’t been listening to your insides, you’ve based your happiness and self-worth on how the people outside you make you feel.
I guarantee, when you begin listening to your own insides, and let go of this suffering personality the people around you have built you into on the surface… that person inside you, HE won’t feel like ending his life.
I don’t know if this is how I’m supposed to reach out, but I need help. I don’t know if I’m asking the right way, I’m going out on a limb.
I’m 17 years old, and I’ve already screwed myself over more times than I can count. What I mean is, I’ve done something unforgivable..
Ive betrayed a friend. Its been 3-4 years since I’ve last seen them. And it eats me up inside just thinking about what Ive done to them. It was over prescription drugs.
I was big going into it at the time, currently I’m drug free and have been for 2 years. I had my first drink when I was 12 years old and my first fix at 13. This information isn’t meant to be used for pity, I just need to find a way to fix all that I’ve done. I know I may never be forgiven, but what do I do? I’ve completely ruined everything.
This all took place in the 8th grade, that’s where I met them. We had 1 or 2 classes together and we had really hit it off, meeting through a mutual friend of ours we had exchanged numbers by the third week of meeting each other. They put their trust in me, enough trust that they let me set up a social media account for them. This was where I fucked up.
We’d just parted ways for summer vacation, and Id gotten deeper into my terrible way. I had no thought going through my head at the time, no consciousness of consequences towards the hurt I was going to cause them. I don’t understand what I was doing at the time, it overwhelms me just writing about this now. I can’t imagine how much pain I have put them through. I was stupid girl with crazy thoughts going on in my head. And i have no excuse. I know that.
I had logged into their account and gotten into a chat with one of their male classmates one thing led to another and the mild conversation we were having turned into one about drugs (Adderral to be exact, I was on this at the time, along with 2 others that I can’t recall), and the transaction of said drugs. They thought I was their friend because I was on said friend’s account.
2 months go by and I get a message from my then friend asking me what the hell I thought I was doing. I was confused at first, and couldn’t remember what they meant by that at the time. (I was still on stuff at the time, this was during 9th grade). But few weeks pass by and I manage to gety head out of my rear and tried to contact them, needless to say they weren’t having it and we didn’t talk for another year or two.
I know I’m scum, I’m a waste of shit that did this to someone I had called a friend and may never be forgiven. But I still want to make things right, I’ve contacted them recently on Facebook trying to apologize and explaining myself, but no response.
Ive gone to see therapists and a psychologist for personal issues. What do I do? I’m 17 now and I dont l know how I’ll be able to live any further if this goes on. I hate myself immensely.
Hi Alex.
That ‘mistake’ wasn’t the issue. The issue runs much deeper. Because that was just an unthinking mistake, which everyone makes many of all their lives, myself included.
But you are really beating up on yourself for it, far past what is healthy. So that is the issue. One mistake doesn’t cause a healthy person to think they’re shit and to want to end their life; so something else has caused you to grow into this very unhealthy person, and that something else is what needs looking at.
I’m emailing you, in case you want to begin talking about that. Your history – with your parents maybe? – is what has evolved you into this person who thinks so poorly of yourself. So, let’s talk about that.