Help Me Please
LET’S BEGIN.
First, for anyone who is at their end, right here and right now–I’m talking about suicide–and you’ve tried all the other options and I’m your last hope… please go directly to my page called Beyond The End. Do it now.
For the rest of you, thank you for visiting my website. You’ve typed in ‘help me please’, which means you’ve gone beyond searching for a specific type of help, and your circumstances have overwhelmed you into making a more general plea: you are making YOUR DEEP CALL FOR HELP.
I’m answering. I offer sincere help throughout this site, it’s pure and it’s for free. There is no advice here, nothing to buy, no ads, no exercises or tests to take, no new things for you to ‘believe’ or ‘follow’. You can keep your religious beliefs, or lack thereof, because this is not a religious site, and yet it also includes every person in every religion.
Please read the following short introductions to the three kinds of help I offer here, and then start exploring whichever seems to meet your need at the moment.
***I hope something on my site resonates with you, maybe helps your situation, offers a little peace and some options. Please read ‘The Help Me Book’. There is so much I still need to put on this site and I apologize for so much that is missing, and I’m sorry if your situation falls into those gaps and you aren’t helped. For the time being I’m closing comments, and I’m very sorry for that as well. I wish I could personally hear every one of you. I am taking a lot of time to re-organize this site globally, and adding a lot of pages, to make it easier for you to find the exact help you are looking for. Until then, please read my present site, despite its limitations. I will take this notice down once the site is updated.
1. The HELP ME Book
There are options you have not thought about. Even the wisest, most intelligent and resourceful mind cannot think of every option. A life-saving option may be right in front of you, even within you, and because you are in such a dire state you’re not able to recognize it clearly.
There are options that can help you cope with, manage, make less painful, or solve (if they can be ‘solved’) your problems. I have heard so many people say, “I’ve tried everything!” and, “Nothing works, no one can help me!” and, “I don’t know what to do!”.
Do you really think you’ve tried ‘everything’? You haven’t come close to trying everything, and I’ll prove it here. Nothing works? Everything works in some way, you just haven’t opened to ‘everything’ in the right way. You don’t know what to do? On a certain level, you know entirely what to do; you just haven’t been able to look past your pain and fear and the noise in your head, and hear yourself.
The HELP ME Book is a shot of adrenaline for you. If you think you’re ‘at the end’, you’ve ‘hit bottom’, you’ve ‘run out of realistic options’, your ‘life is over’… please read my book. It is progressive, linear, blows apart your thought that you’ve tried everything and have reached your limit, and gives you many options you hadn’t thought about. Think of this book as a ‘primer before you reach out for more specific kinds of help’.
Remember: my book, like everything on this site, is free. Nothing to buy, nothing to learn, no exercises, no religiousness, no commercial spirituality. You just read it, and it starts to move something inside you. Note that this book is not simply a few brief website articles; this is a lot of reading, something to immerse yourself in, a big book published in web page form. Let’s begin with the Introduction.
2. THE INTERVIEWS
The most common thing you hear when you’re in difficulty or in crisis is ‘Talk to someone’. But sometimes you can’t, either because of your own limitations or because there’s simply no one around you feel you can talk to, who would be safe or helpful to talk with. So I’m bringing them to you.
These are interviews I do with people who have been through things. All kinds of people, from all areas, all ages, and all kinds of life happenings. One of the biggest blind spots of anyone who is suffering, is the feeling that you are alone, that no one understands. But if you are having deep troubles, and you read an interview, or a dozen interviews, with people who are going through similar things, you no longer feel so isolated. And you can learn, be helped, by hearing about how others have coped, even survived and thrived, through circumstances similar to what you are going through. They may not be able to listen to you in person, but by the way they share their own words here you’ll know that they would hear you if you were talking to them right now.
To read more about these interviews and how I conduct them, please read ‘The Interviews‘ page. Or you can go directly to any category under ‘THE INTERVIEWS’ heading at right, and select an interview whose title resonates with your own circumstances. Note that no interview is just about one thing; a ‘change of life’ interview might talk about some great or tragic event leading to that change; a ‘sexual abuse’ interview might talk about later problems in life resulting from the abuse. I try to loosely categorize each interview, but each one includes wider events.
I will add to these interviews constantly, so please check in at a later date, if you do not see an interview that helps you at the moment.
3. ClearYourMind.com
Usually it is a wide collection of events and decisions that bring you down a road that eventually tightens and bottlenecks into your finally asking ‘help me please’. It is invariably a combination of external happenings, and your reactions and responses to them, that brings you to either success or suffering. This is not a matter of ‘fault’ or blame, of intelligence or strength; the smartest and strongest people can still end up in a place of despair and destitution.
But your mind can evolve into something better; not every difficult circumstance in your life can be thwarted or escaped, however there are mind-tools you can use to better cope with problems, and then to deal with enough parts of a problem so that the whole is reduced in severity and becomes something manageable.
These are a random series of mind tools. Mind tools are just that: thought-tools to help your mind build into a stronger entity. You don’t have to learn any new spiritual words, there are no exercises, you don’t have to learn or remember anything here. Mind tools are simple thoughts that clarify something in your head, help your thought process evolve into something more efficient, healthy, powerful, capable. You just read them, and they start to work.
You can read them at www.ClearYourMind.com. As with this site, there are no ads there, nothing to buy, and all articles and photos are by me. Enjoy.
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I hope these pages can help you. Every article on this site is written by myself, every interview is conducted by myself and the final version is approved by the person being interviewed, and the photos are all by me.
I have been in that place, of asking HELP ME PLEASE, many times in the past, for many years, and in situations I did not feel I could survive. So I think I can give you realistic and effective options.
And I hope I do that.
Thank you,
Neil
Hello, I am Jill. I am twenty years old and hopeless. I have been having this battle with the inside and outside world. I like with very toxic people. Including my mother, she battles depression/anxiety like me but likes to change things like moods on me quickly. I never get to leave the house unless we are going to the store, out to dinner, doctors appointments or to see family every once in a blue moon. I feel awful, I am so deprived of love, compassion or friendship. Lately I feel completely invisible, I don’t talk to anyone but her usually..or my brother and dad, they are fine. But I need a way out of this, with no job or way to leave..I cannot go anywhere. I feel like Rapunzel except there feels like no happy ending. I am completely worried about what is going to happen. I feel awful, just awful. She is bitter and not changing, please help me.
I have emailed you, JKJill.
My husband and I were just served eviction paperwork. I lost my job last fall and we have fallen behind on rent and other bills. My parents are also poor (and sick) and my husbands parents are wealthy but I dont think they are willing to help. I feel like I am physically drowning, like the only way I can breathe is to cry.This life just seems so hopeless right now.
Emailed you, Mk.
I am struggling at home. My parents favour my sister and don’t show any interest in me at all. I’m always the second choice. I’ve tried talking to them about it but they continue to to deny it. At school I try to participate in as many activities so that I can find somewhere to talk to people who I trust… that has lead me nowhere. Nobody understands. I’ve tried running away, but the place I went to was not safe and they called my parents who took me home and yelled at me for 3 hours. They don’t let me talk to certain people because they only know what they hear about the person through the grape vine. I’m going into grade 9 and my emotions are getting in the way. I can’t control them. I can’t tell anybody how I really feel. My memory has been affected and I can’t remember anything important.
Im always thinking about what others are thinking about me. I fought with one of my very best friends after she called me some names. Out of anger, I called her some extremely rude things and we aren’t even talking anymore. I miss her. Everything has gone down hill since I fought with her. I tried apologizing but she blocked my phone number, my instagram, my snapchat, my facebook, my twitter and even my email.
I don’t know what to think about myself anymore. I’m the least favourite between my 10 year old sister and myself, I’ve lost my best friend and I’ve got nobody to talk to.
I need help.
I’ve emailed you, Avery.
I am suffering a lot with my love I hate myself I can’t stay without her I am not able to concentrate on my life I am pursuing my masters but I want to die. Many counseling. Psychiatrist has done to me. It is of no use. Please help me..
I have emailed you, Krishna.
I’m about to be homeless. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 16 years. We worked together for 28. His wife passed away 13 years ago and he never let her go. I stayed with him on the weekends and slept with him under his 3’x5′ wedding picture. When my son was 17 he told me that he was a woman and changed his name. I at first had a hard time but later accepted and support and love her. My boyfriend had to go through all of this with me. I was depressed and started seeing a doctor. My daughter became a drug addict and we fought all the time. She even had me falsely arrested when I caught her doing heroin. I spent the night in jail and eventually I was let go and not charged with anything since I didn’t do anything wrong. My boyfriend has kept me at his side for 16 years which he admitted were for selfish reasons. I could have left years ago because i had a great job offer. He begged me to stay and I did. He promised that when my daughter moved out I could move in with him. The day she moved out, he broke up with me. I was fired after 28 years since I believe my boss had to chose between me and him. I’m now over 50 and can’t find a job. I cant pay my rent or bills and on August 1st, I’m going to get thrown out. I have no where to go. I’m going to lose everything. I have no money, no food and nobody. I’m at my wits end.
I’ve emailed you, Diane.
Hello,
I’m sitting here, on the floor, at home alone. I have come to the sullen realization that I am alone, truly alone. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have only one person in my life I could really call a friend. Everyone else I interact with is disconnected from me by a wall of social expectations and pleasantries. I simply smile and nod to what ever they may say, and on the inside it is tearing me apart. I want to connect with them, I want to feel some sort of belonging, but I can’t. All I feel is that I’m steadily becoming farther and farther removed from the people around me: The small amount of people that is. The one person I can call friend is not around right now. It feels like I can’t truly level with my parents either. I don’t know what to do. I feel so alone.
Please, I just need to talk to someone. Anyone.
Sincerely,
Nothing
Hey there, i stumbled across this website by exactly how you mentioned above. I am in need of help and i have no idea where to look for this help. Basically it all started with me moving away to college about 10 hours from where my hometown is. I thought it was going to be exciting and an enjoyable experience, instead i ran into sex driven college students, drinking every night students. I felt like i had made the wrong choice of going to college here since i do not fit in at all with the majority of the student body and as many know, college revolves around socializing. Due to me not having many friends here i simply hung out with my gf which by the way came from the same town as me. She and I would have sex literally every single day, and yes i respected and loved her but even sex wasnt really for me. It just didnt feel right, eventually i got an addiction to sex and it was a horrible feeling which i will describe later. So while in college i would go to class, maybe talk to a friend or two, quickly head home, do some homework and then get on my pc and play games all day long. The problem is that i began to prioritize my video game rather than school. I was and am okay with it to a degree simply because i want to be a professional gamer. Most people hear that and think im crazy but i am being as serious as can be. Anywho, i ended up doing great my first semester but then second semester came down, this is where everything went to the dump. I broke up with my gf because i knew it wasnt fair for her that i didnt show the same affection she showed towards me. She ended up taking advantage of my addiction to sex and would literally be over at my place everyday so that we could do it, making it impossible to leave her completely. I began to fail my math class and my computer science class. Computer science is my major and the only major that i had a little interest in. So when i began to fail to the point where i had to drop the class, i became depressed because i had no idea what to do with my life. I know video games is my goal but that will take time and all this time that is being wasted idk what to do with it. So i failed a class, dropped a class, became depressed, was a sex addict, and began to over eat since it made me feel happy. Food was my source of happiness, food combined with video games was my happy place. I ignored the world outside and became a text book game nerd. By the time my first year of college was over, i had gained about 30lb which is ridiculous. I was only using gym shorts and about 3 shirts that i felt fit me well. I had lost all confidence, i was ashamed at what i had become and yet i did nothing to stop. Now it’s summer vacation and its been almost two months that i arrived at my parents’ home, where i used to live before college. My mom is supportive and was trying to help me lose the weight but i became addicted to food especially fast food. So no matter what my mother would tell me to try and motivate me, i would fall right back into the fast food trap. I wanted to lose weight over the summer, i wanted to get even better at my video games so that i could start streaming when i get back to college, i wanted to finally get rid of that ex girlfriend that has been with me all along. But in the end, i never lost any weight, my mind is programmed to do the opposite of what i want to do, i guess i dont have the will power anymore…video games are eh, and that ex gf i finally told her to leave me alone and please stop taking advantage of my addiction that she had given me. She still contacts me everyday, someitmes i reply other times i dont. I have a couple good friends but ive never been able to share most of my feelings with them, mainly because i grew up in an environment where you shouldnt look for help from others, you figure it out yourself, but if someone needs help you have to be right there with them. I know i wrote a lot and maybe not all of this makes sense but i am backed into a corner and had no where else to go. I am afraid of what the future holds for me if i cant change myself. Self esteem is at a new time low, happiness is faked mostly, friends are only friends when we are having a good time playing video games. I am disgusted of myself, i hate looking in the mirror. And i hate that i let myself get into this postiion after being a top athlete in highscool and not having many issues to worry about. I cant remember that last time i didnt go through a day without insulting myself and putting myself down in everything i do. I feel as if i am falling into depression if not i already am in depression i just dont notice it since it would be the first time i admit i am in a depression.
Thanks for sharing; I have emailed you, but I’m copying a couple of my email statements into this reply, so others might be helped by it.
There is one common thread through your whole letter, and I think it is summed up best by your statement “i grew up in an environment where you shouldnt look for help from others, you figure it out yourself,”
I think this shows a deep neglect of your feelings when you were growing up. You didn’t mention how your parents are to you, but I think you are feeling very empty somehow; empty of affection, or validation, or worthiness, or all those. It’s like you were left all alone, at least emotionally, even if you were surrounded by good people. It sounds like you were brought up in a ‘hands off’ family, where they worked and gave you a home, but where you were also maybe cut off from a certain intimacy and nurturing.
This is glaringly apparent in where you are headed with college and pastimes and comforts: you seem very empty of love and affection, so all the things you’re attracted to are things that stuff you with ‘stimulation’, in the most shallow but intense and immediate way: food stuffs you with immediate stimulation, sex addiction stuffs you with immediate stimulation, video gaming stuffs you with immediate stimulation. So you’re turning to things, in pastime and in career, that stuff you with a shallow but quick and intense stimulation… and you’re doing that in an almost desperate attempt to stuff yourself with a shallow and quick good feeling, because on a deeper level you’re really missing something in the realm of good feeling about yourself.
Hi. I know someone who has used this website to seek help before and it resulted that person to heal in great extends. So I have come to this website seeking help for my issues. I am very young. And issues i face in this age may be deemed abnormal. I have EXTREME social anxiety. I have been facing it for a very long time but have recently come in terms with it. mainly because this seems extremely un-plausible and that the thought scares me. i have known some people suffering social anxiety in various platforms and because of this, their lives have been caved in and ruined. They face difficulty exposing to the most common public areas and making small conversation with people. And slowly, i feel like that’s happening to me too. I am having an extremely difficult time confronting people, even my family. I have left cycling because whenever i do, I feel like everyone is staring at me and judging me for no apparent reason. And I know that it’s not true and I know that it shouldn’t let me down but I can’t act upon it. It is getting the best out of me. I need help.
Thanks Tanaz, I have emailed you.
Hi, please I think I have the same problem, and I m losing my self-confidence, so please give me some tips or something like that. thanks in advance.
I have emailed you, Liwi.
Hi my name is Luke
I found this site because to be honest I’ve have no idea what to do anymore. My fiancé is an alcoholic we have been together nearly 6 years, only last year she pick up a drink again and without going into to much detail it nearly finished us. We lost our home all the money on or wedding all sorts of things happened. Anyway the last 3 months she has been sober up until last Thursday when picked up again and has done everyday since. We are meant to be moving back in together a week today. It’s all paid for ect. Not only this when I need her the most my mum has got pancreatic cancer I need her to do the one thing she can’t and not drink. I feel so alone I’m absolutely devastated
I have emailed you, Luke.
Hi, suffering from bipolar disorder .. international student doing my masters in computer science.failed in subjects . disqualified ,jobless ..can’t say it to my parents who don’t understand my situation ..no one here for me ..suicidal thoughts ..wanted to become a computer scientist …but all hopes gone now ..
I’ve emailed you, Ram.