Help Me Please
LET’S BEGIN.
First, for anyone who is at their end, right here and right now–I’m talking about suicide–and you’ve tried all the other options and I’m your last hope… please go directly to my page called Beyond The End. Do it now.
For the rest of you, thank you for visiting my website. You’ve typed in ‘help me please’, which means you’ve gone beyond searching for a specific type of help, and your circumstances have overwhelmed you into making a more general plea: you are making YOUR DEEP CALL FOR HELP.
I’m answering. I offer sincere help throughout this site, it’s pure and it’s for free. There is no advice here, nothing to buy, no ads, no exercises or tests to take, no new things for you to ‘believe’ or ‘follow’. You can keep your religious beliefs, or lack thereof, because this is not a religious site, and yet it also includes every person in every religion.
Please read the following short introductions to the three kinds of help I offer here, and then start exploring whichever seems to meet your need at the moment.
***I hope something on my site resonates with you, maybe helps your situation, offers a little peace and some options. Please read ‘The Help Me Book’. There is so much I still need to put on this site and I apologize for so much that is missing, and I’m sorry if your situation falls into those gaps and you aren’t helped. For the time being I’m closing comments, and I’m very sorry for that as well. I wish I could personally hear every one of you. I am taking a lot of time to re-organize this site globally, and adding a lot of pages, to make it easier for you to find the exact help you are looking for. Until then, please read my present site, despite its limitations. I will take this notice down once the site is updated.
1. The HELP ME Book
There are options you have not thought about. Even the wisest, most intelligent and resourceful mind cannot think of every option. A life-saving option may be right in front of you, even within you, and because you are in such a dire state you’re not able to recognize it clearly.
There are options that can help you cope with, manage, make less painful, or solve (if they can be ‘solved’) your problems. I have heard so many people say, “I’ve tried everything!” and, “Nothing works, no one can help me!” and, “I don’t know what to do!”.
Do you really think you’ve tried ‘everything’? You haven’t come close to trying everything, and I’ll prove it here. Nothing works? Everything works in some way, you just haven’t opened to ‘everything’ in the right way. You don’t know what to do? On a certain level, you know entirely what to do; you just haven’t been able to look past your pain and fear and the noise in your head, and hear yourself.
The HELP ME Book is a shot of adrenaline for you. If you think you’re ‘at the end’, you’ve ‘hit bottom’, you’ve ‘run out of realistic options’, your ‘life is over’… please read my book. It is progressive, linear, blows apart your thought that you’ve tried everything and have reached your limit, and gives you many options you hadn’t thought about. Think of this book as a ‘primer before you reach out for more specific kinds of help’.
Remember: my book, like everything on this site, is free. Nothing to buy, nothing to learn, no exercises, no religiousness, no commercial spirituality. You just read it, and it starts to move something inside you. Note that this book is not simply a few brief website articles; this is a lot of reading, something to immerse yourself in, a big book published in web page form. Let’s begin with the Introduction.
2. THE INTERVIEWS
The most common thing you hear when you’re in difficulty or in crisis is ‘Talk to someone’. But sometimes you can’t, either because of your own limitations or because there’s simply no one around you feel you can talk to, who would be safe or helpful to talk with. So I’m bringing them to you.
These are interviews I do with people who have been through things. All kinds of people, from all areas, all ages, and all kinds of life happenings. One of the biggest blind spots of anyone who is suffering, is the feeling that you are alone, that no one understands. But if you are having deep troubles, and you read an interview, or a dozen interviews, with people who are going through similar things, you no longer feel so isolated. And you can learn, be helped, by hearing about how others have coped, even survived and thrived, through circumstances similar to what you are going through. They may not be able to listen to you in person, but by the way they share their own words here you’ll know that they would hear you if you were talking to them right now.
To read more about these interviews and how I conduct them, please read ‘The Interviews‘ page. Or you can go directly to any category under ‘THE INTERVIEWS’ heading at right, and select an interview whose title resonates with your own circumstances. Note that no interview is just about one thing; a ‘change of life’ interview might talk about some great or tragic event leading to that change; a ‘sexual abuse’ interview might talk about later problems in life resulting from the abuse. I try to loosely categorize each interview, but each one includes wider events.
I will add to these interviews constantly, so please check in at a later date, if you do not see an interview that helps you at the moment.
3. ClearYourMind.com
Usually it is a wide collection of events and decisions that bring you down a road that eventually tightens and bottlenecks into your finally asking ‘help me please’. It is invariably a combination of external happenings, and your reactions and responses to them, that brings you to either success or suffering. This is not a matter of ‘fault’ or blame, of intelligence or strength; the smartest and strongest people can still end up in a place of despair and destitution.
But your mind can evolve into something better; not every difficult circumstance in your life can be thwarted or escaped, however there are mind-tools you can use to better cope with problems, and then to deal with enough parts of a problem so that the whole is reduced in severity and becomes something manageable.
These are a random series of mind tools. Mind tools are just that: thought-tools to help your mind build into a stronger entity. You don’t have to learn any new spiritual words, there are no exercises, you don’t have to learn or remember anything here. Mind tools are simple thoughts that clarify something in your head, help your thought process evolve into something more efficient, healthy, powerful, capable. You just read them, and they start to work.
You can read them at www.ClearYourMind.com. As with this site, there are no ads there, nothing to buy, and all articles and photos are by me. Enjoy.
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I hope these pages can help you. Every article on this site is written by myself, every interview is conducted by myself and the final version is approved by the person being interviewed, and the photos are all by me.
I have been in that place, of asking HELP ME PLEASE, many times in the past, for many years, and in situations I did not feel I could survive. So I think I can give you realistic and effective options.
And I hope I do that.
Thank you,
Neil
Thank you for writing this. I thought the distance between people was insurmountable. I thought I’d never know anyone or have someone know me deeply. But something clicked when I read about validation.
When I was 10, I had a teacher who publicly humiliated me daily, purposefully made me feel stupid and incapable of improving. It’s amazing how bad things can get when an authority figure singles you out for group hate. I was a very sensitive child to begin with; all I wanted was to make people proud, make them laugh, to be friends with everyone I met. I went from being a happy kid to a complete wreck during that year and I’ve never fully recovered. I developed dissociative anxiety, which really messes with your identity and sense of reality.
I realized after reading your course that I was balling all my problems into this sense of unworthiness that began back then. Everything that went wrong was an extension of my deep belief that I’m less important than other people. So… thank you for being a piece of my life that helped me to change that.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, Just A Girl, and my pleasure. Emailed you. I hope to soon put another chapter into the course, an extension of Validation called ‘Self-Validation’. It’s when you switch from basing your happiness and identity upon the validation from others – external validation – over to the internal and much more stable validation that comes from inside you.
I feel so broken. Beyond repair. I was never wanted.
Emailed you, Peyton.
I am lonely. I have so much to be thankful for–caring husband, beautiful children, a good life. Yet I think about ending it so much. I have no real friends. I long for friends who are open and accepting. I pray. I soul-search, meditate. I look inward for answers. But I am LONELY! I want friends and don’t understand why I am so socially awkward. People think I’m stuck-up, or weird, or I don’t know what they think but I have no friends. Life is too painful to go on like this.
Emailed you, Dicktracy. Thanks for your emails.
I really am not sure what to do. I am depressed when I feel like I shouldn’t and it makes me drown in guilt whenever I see how privileged I am yet I still cant be happy. I grew up in a very volatile household that totally condemns the idea of dating, but just last week was my 6 month anniversary with my girlfriend. I might be in danger of failing for the year and despite that my girlfriend will be going to a college in an entirely different state. She’s what keeps me alive and breathing everyday, but I feel like I might lose her. I feel the need to free myself, but I cant bring myself to suicide. I just can’t seem to get the idea of running away out of my head. I’ve tried praying to an absent god, I’ve tried reading and motivating myself. I just need some guidance.
Emailed you, Sho.
Why am even here? Is this even gonna change anything? I don’t think so , I came here after visiting suicide sites and I don’t even know why am writing this !! Maybe practicing my typing skills for one last time ? , I am a total failure I have failed in everything, I failed to keep my job,my love,my game !! I even failed to end my miserable life , I don’t believe in god , I don’t believe in my religion “my family said am Muslim” I do believe in money which I never had , I hate my country myself , I hate god he is not fair , I love sex , I think am sex addict , I don’t have money to cure myself , I believe I need help and I also believe no one can
Emailed you, Omar.
I am depressed. I am a teenager and it is prettycommon on my age but I am constantly having suicidal thoughts. Just a few days ago my exam results came in and I failed even though I put all I had in it. My parents refuse to talk to me. Because of it we are having many fights in my family and my parents are constantly shouting at one another. I need help.
Emailed you, Violet.
I am always sorry to hear that yet another person is not being loved and validated unconditionally. Parents so often withdraw their support and love if you are not performing up to their expectations in school, job, life. And also sorry to hear how your own needs become shoved to the side or ignored, due to your parents’ own issues.
I know it makes you feel a certain way… but don’t believe it.
You are worthy, you are loved, you deserve to be here, you are important. If anyone makes you feel otherwise, that is THEIR shortcoming, not yours. It takes time and maturity… but I hope you can eventually validate your own worthiness, even when the people around you seem incapable of validating you and your worthiness.
Thank you so much for dedicating your time to creating this site. It helped me through a very dark time in my life. While your words did not specifically address my problems, simply knowing that there was someone out there who could understand made many nights spent sobbing on my bathroom floor a little less painful. Thank you for the kindness you have shown in creating this site.
To all of those out there struggling with a deep, visceral pain, I promise, someday it will go away. In the meantime, there is a community of those who can empathize.
Thank you for writing, I am very glad that some things here resonated enough to be helpful.
Emailed you.
A year ago I messed up the only thing that actually made me happy. I was in deeply in love with the girl of my dreams and she was in love with me. I did something I shouldn’t have done to ruin it… It is… to this day… my only regret in life. I did everything I could at the time to try to repair it, but nothing worked. Ever since I have been deeply depressed again and there’s not a day that goes by where something doesn’t remind me of her. I’ve dated other girls and tried so hard to love another girl… but I can’t. She was literally the perfect girl. I don’t think I’ll ever love again. If you have any advice… i’ll take it.
Emailed you Trey.
To others: what is missing inside you, that you can only feel happiness when you’re with the ‘right person’ and you feel unhappy when you’re not?
First, build yourself, inside. Then the right people will appear. It is not fair to you or to others if you are making others responsible for your happiness. Find yourself. Then others will find you.
I think my time is up.
Nothing significant has happened. On the outside I probably look like some fun loving university student, going through life without a care in the world. Yet inside, I’m frustrated, angry and lonely.
I don’t know who or what else to turn to.
Emailed you, Anonymous.
To others: if you outwardly show a different face than you feel inwardly… why are you hiding what you feel? If there is no one you feel you can show your true face, start looking for a different kind of person to know.
And frustration, anger and loneliness come from somewhere. What is missing from your life, that you feel that way? Start identifying where those feelings come from, and what to do to fill them in a more healthy way.
I get these strange shocks of depression. For absolutely no reason. I get upset over the smallest things and I have trouble breathing when i think about them. I feel horrible, I feel alone, I feel like there’s no one to listen to me. Infact, no one ever listens to me anyways.
Emailed you Anonymous.
To others: All bouts of depression, all upsets over the smallest things, come from some deeper source, they do not just come from ‘nowhere’. Something needs finding, inside you. Start looking inside.