Help Me Please
LET’S BEGIN.
First, for anyone who is at their end, right here and right now–I’m talking about suicide–and you’ve tried all the other options and I’m your last hope… please go directly to my page called Beyond The End. Do it now.
For the rest of you, thank you for visiting my website. You’ve typed in ‘help me please’, which means you’ve gone beyond searching for a specific type of help, and your circumstances have overwhelmed you into making a more general plea: you are making YOUR DEEP CALL FOR HELP.
I’m answering. I offer sincere help throughout this site, it’s pure and it’s for free. There is no advice here, nothing to buy, no ads, no exercises or tests to take, no new things for you to ‘believe’ or ‘follow’. You can keep your religious beliefs, or lack thereof, because this is not a religious site, and yet it also includes every person in every religion.
Please read the following short introductions to the three kinds of help I offer here, and then start exploring whichever seems to meet your need at the moment.
***I hope something on my site resonates with you, maybe helps your situation, offers a little peace and some options. Please read ‘The Help Me Book’. There is so much I still need to put on this site and I apologize for so much that is missing, and I’m sorry if your situation falls into those gaps and you aren’t helped. For the time being I’m closing comments, and I’m very sorry for that as well. I wish I could personally hear every one of you. I am taking a lot of time to re-organize this site globally, and adding a lot of pages, to make it easier for you to find the exact help you are looking for. Until then, please read my present site, despite its limitations. I will take this notice down once the site is updated.
1. The HELP ME Book
There are options you have not thought about. Even the wisest, most intelligent and resourceful mind cannot think of every option. A life-saving option may be right in front of you, even within you, and because you are in such a dire state you’re not able to recognize it clearly.
There are options that can help you cope with, manage, make less painful, or solve (if they can be ‘solved’) your problems. I have heard so many people say, “I’ve tried everything!” and, “Nothing works, no one can help me!” and, “I don’t know what to do!”.
Do you really think you’ve tried ‘everything’? You haven’t come close to trying everything, and I’ll prove it here. Nothing works? Everything works in some way, you just haven’t opened to ‘everything’ in the right way. You don’t know what to do? On a certain level, you know entirely what to do; you just haven’t been able to look past your pain and fear and the noise in your head, and hear yourself.
The HELP ME Book is a shot of adrenaline for you. If you think you’re ‘at the end’, you’ve ‘hit bottom’, you’ve ‘run out of realistic options’, your ‘life is over’… please read my book. It is progressive, linear, blows apart your thought that you’ve tried everything and have reached your limit, and gives you many options you hadn’t thought about. Think of this book as a ‘primer before you reach out for more specific kinds of help’.
Remember: my book, like everything on this site, is free. Nothing to buy, nothing to learn, no exercises, no religiousness, no commercial spirituality. You just read it, and it starts to move something inside you. Note that this book is not simply a few brief website articles; this is a lot of reading, something to immerse yourself in, a big book published in web page form. Let’s begin with the Introduction.
2. THE INTERVIEWS
The most common thing you hear when you’re in difficulty or in crisis is ‘Talk to someone’. But sometimes you can’t, either because of your own limitations or because there’s simply no one around you feel you can talk to, who would be safe or helpful to talk with. So I’m bringing them to you.
These are interviews I do with people who have been through things. All kinds of people, from all areas, all ages, and all kinds of life happenings. One of the biggest blind spots of anyone who is suffering, is the feeling that you are alone, that no one understands. But if you are having deep troubles, and you read an interview, or a dozen interviews, with people who are going through similar things, you no longer feel so isolated. And you can learn, be helped, by hearing about how others have coped, even survived and thrived, through circumstances similar to what you are going through. They may not be able to listen to you in person, but by the way they share their own words here you’ll know that they would hear you if you were talking to them right now.
To read more about these interviews and how I conduct them, please read ‘The Interviews‘ page. Or you can go directly to any category under ‘THE INTERVIEWS’ heading at right, and select an interview whose title resonates with your own circumstances. Note that no interview is just about one thing; a ‘change of life’ interview might talk about some great or tragic event leading to that change; a ‘sexual abuse’ interview might talk about later problems in life resulting from the abuse. I try to loosely categorize each interview, but each one includes wider events.
I will add to these interviews constantly, so please check in at a later date, if you do not see an interview that helps you at the moment.
3. ClearYourMind.com
Usually it is a wide collection of events and decisions that bring you down a road that eventually tightens and bottlenecks into your finally asking ‘help me please’. It is invariably a combination of external happenings, and your reactions and responses to them, that brings you to either success or suffering. This is not a matter of ‘fault’ or blame, of intelligence or strength; the smartest and strongest people can still end up in a place of despair and destitution.
But your mind can evolve into something better; not every difficult circumstance in your life can be thwarted or escaped, however there are mind-tools you can use to better cope with problems, and then to deal with enough parts of a problem so that the whole is reduced in severity and becomes something manageable.
These are a random series of mind tools. Mind tools are just that: thought-tools to help your mind build into a stronger entity. You don’t have to learn any new spiritual words, there are no exercises, you don’t have to learn or remember anything here. Mind tools are simple thoughts that clarify something in your head, help your thought process evolve into something more efficient, healthy, powerful, capable. You just read them, and they start to work.
You can read them at www.ClearYourMind.com. As with this site, there are no ads there, nothing to buy, and all articles and photos are by me. Enjoy.
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I hope these pages can help you. Every article on this site is written by myself, every interview is conducted by myself and the final version is approved by the person being interviewed, and the photos are all by me.
I have been in that place, of asking HELP ME PLEASE, many times in the past, for many years, and in situations I did not feel I could survive. So I think I can give you realistic and effective options.
And I hope I do that.
Thank you,
Neil
I have been feeling low for past 11 years. I don’t even remember when I laughed hearfully last time. I always feel void. I was working in an IT company . I didn’t like it. So I resigned. Then I joined for masters thinking that I would start over and change myself. Things here turned out to be worse. I cannot cope up with courses. This made it much worse. Now I am 26 and don’t know what to do now. I cannot quit my masters. I worked hard to get into it. Everything seems to be heavy and I cannot carry it any more. 11 years is soo long. Almost half my life I have been in vain. I don’t know what I am looking for and don’t know what to hope for. I worked hard to get though exam for masters and got into a reputed collage. I always feel the dullness. Even the simplest of jobs seems to be hard and I have to fight for it. I cannot do this anymore. I am tired of being this way. Please help me.
Emailed you, Void.
I want to die. I’m 18, and gave up all my energy to save other people. I’ve been in two relationships and gave everything to lift them out of their depression and help with their problems. The first was a 2 year relationship where I was heavily controlled and manipulated. I was cheated on at least twice and never found out until the relationship ended with finding out she sent a snapchat of her boobs to another guy. I ended it with her instantly and handled it by remaining constantly high 24 hours a day, every day. This was only bud, so not anything crazy. After it ended, she had a threesome with two guys I know and just went on a fuckspree. Then I met a new girl and did the same exact thing with her. She now texts other guys constantly, gets angry when I’m upset with anything. I literally do everything for her and I’m always there to help her. Whenever she says anything mean I let it go. She says she loves me and even talks about marriage and how I’m perfect. Guys from her work have kissed her and she claims she didn’t kiss them back. She had sex with another guy at the start of the relationship but she said it wasn’t consensual but she didn’t say no because she was afraid he would freak out at her. I now try and protect her from anything like that happening again. But I just don’t know it she is telling the truth. I abuse cocaine now and do it all day every day. My parents are fucked up and cheat on each other but won’t get a divorce even though they talk about it. I saw texts to another woman on my dads phone and he is really careful about deleting everything and doesn’t let anyone touch his phone. Everything is shit. I don’t eat anymore and I went through a period of months where I would throw up multiple times every single day due to anxiety and stress. I know things could be even worse but I am literally empty inside. I can’t go a day without some kind of drug and I don’t want to ask for help from anyone. I did a lot of cocajne tonight and I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack anyways. I hope that I do honestly, it would solve all my problems. I gave away all my energy to help people who fucked me over. What the fuck. I don’t know what to do I just want to go to sleep and never wake up, I’m so tired.
Emailed you, Tim.
When you said you feel empty, that is exactly it.
You’ve spent an entire life growing up by defining yourself and your happiness by the externals… what stuff you have, how girlfriends treat you, how family and friends make you feel. And those are unstable external things.
You’re empty because you haven’t filled yourself with what YOU know about yourself, with what YOU decide you wish to feel. You make the switch from allowing external things to make you feel good or bad, fulfilled or empty, over to making yourself into what you wish to be. It’s a switch that everyone needs to make when they become adults… but almost no one actually does make that switch. Start.
I have tried to do things the right way and I have tried to take control of my circumstances. I went to and finished grad school, and I thought things would be better. My past, however, continues to wreak havoc on my life. I finally found a woman I love and respect – we want to move into together. We find her dream apartment, but we may not get the place because I had once been evicted. She’s successful, makes a great living and has perfect credit. I am terrified the strain this puts on our relationship may break it. While this is going on my mother who has MS was evicted from her apartment and is now basically homeless. I was born into a middle class family that has dissolved. I live pay check to pay check and can never catch up. I feel worthless, i can nothing correct and I responsible for all my failures. I have no hope of overcoming because things have never gotten any better only worse. I have nothing to look forward to and I feel empty. I am by nature a happy person but now it’s hard to even smile. I want to be in my bed, alone and in the dark.
Emailed you, John.
Hi..
Please send me a mail.
I don’t know what’s wrong, but I know something isn’t right.
Emailed you, Kiki.
hi
I am struggling to find a job and also single. I have been struggling with my personal and prof life. this creates stress in my life and I feel depressed..i am in my 30s so that stresses me also since I feel its more tough now than before.
please help..thanks
Emailed you, kj.
I have seen so many failures in my life and till now there is no improvement in my life both in career and financial status. Now I started to avoid friends and living alone. No proper job, living in other city far from my familly. I’ve lost all hopes in my life. My family is totally depended on me but I’m not supporting them. Sometimes I will feel to commit suicide also. Don’t know what is happening to my life. GOD PLEASE HELP ME!
Emailed you, Mohan.
I’ve never been sure about anything pertaining to my depression. Sometimes I feel like it’s a miracle I haven’t just ended it. Now that my gf is leaving for college, I feel like my already waste of space is going to be even more wasted. If I were old enough and had money I’d probably get drunk every night, but all I can do now is push it away by constantly hanging with friends or watching a ton of porn. I’ve also been a porn addict for like 7 or 8 years. I can’t get away from it and no one thinks it’s a problem. I just don’t get it…why do I constantly feel like I wish Id never been born even though I actually have a pretty good life?
Emailed you, Jonathan.
As I mentioned in my comment to ‘Tim’ above… you’re empty because you haven’t explored and filled yourself with ‘you’ yet. You grow up, your identity and happiness are defined by your parents, friends, relatives, teachers, society. When you become an adult, it’s your chance to leave behind the person ‘they’ constructed into you, and explore who you want to construct into you. This is the underlying emptiness of all humans. For some, it doesn’t bother them. For others, it makes them feel like they’re totally in the wrong life, empty to the point of depression.
But there is an entire life inside you that you haven’t even begun yet. Because you haven’t gone looking for it yet. It’s the person within you that you discover for yourself, and no other person can define it for you.
Thank you for this website and wise words, I am sure you have done a lot for a lot of people, it is a beautiful and valuable thing you have done, different from anything else I have come across. It helps to hear such an understanding voice. These words bring me back to what I knew of experience in happier times and it helps give hope to reach those places again but it seems I’m always dragged back down, sooner rather than later these days and happiness has become too fleeting. Whenever I conceptualise my situation I feel trapped and paralysed, feeling in a helpless position even though I have all the help I could ask for, I don’t know what help I need or what to ask for anymore. I’m not sure what to do and I don’t even know why I’m writing this, I usually wouldn’t but it seems a place of help, despair is a lonely place with little hope and it now just seems normal to me, the only hope I have is that this is not normal and there is a way out to a better life.
Emailed you, Reg.
you’re amazing to care enough to reply. bless you.
A year ago I joined college and since then I feel that I have lost focus in life. My grades have come down steeply. I used to be a very bright student in school but now have become an average student. Even my friends tell me I have changed. I cant even sleep at night. If I do, I get very crazy dreams. I try to concentrate but I cannot. Because of that I couldn’t clear a paper this semester. Please help get focus in my life.
Emailed you.
When an unknown something begins to change inside you, and you try to avoid or ignore it and apply all your efforts into still trying to focus and force yourself to keep going the ‘way you were’… you’ll be constantly fighting something inside you that wants to be recognized.
Inner changes have a way of forcing themselves on you. Something inside you is giving you a wake-up call. The sooner you accept that, open to it, and explore it – even if that means that your life is changing – the sooner you align yourself with whatever it is inside you that’s trying to get your attention.
Don’t be frightened of it. It’s just another part of you. Maybe a part of you that’s tapping you on the shoulder and saying, “Time to change. You might lose some of what you have now, but I’m sending you something more true to you.”
very enlightening. I know these things also, but am having difficulty applying them now. It seems that Ihave waited tool long and that the consequences have gotten worse and worse.